


Feel Too Much

by thatmountainhermit



Category: Thomas Sanders
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen, i must really like torturing patton goddamn, this was a vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2019-01-16 18:56:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12348663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatmountainhermit/pseuds/thatmountainhermit
Summary: Morality feels more than he lets on.





	Feel Too Much

There was a problem with feeling too much, sometimes.

Patton knew that all too well. He felt too much, too much, too much, and it cut him to pieces more often than he cared to admit. But he couldn’t tell the others, because they wouldn’t understand. They wouldn’t take him seriously. After all, he was always smiling, always laughing and joking and playing nice so how could he feel the way he did when he never really showed it?

It choked him, sometimes, wrapping around his throat like a vice and tightening until his eyes stung with tears and his breath was shallow and shaky and there was a lump in his throat that was impossible to swallow past.

But he always pushed it down, far, far inside of him, where no one could see, and then plastered a smile on his face. Because there were people with bigger problems. His didn’t matter, not really.

And so it continued. He tried to push past it, every time, for the others’ sake. He tried to ignore the way that every word felt like sandpaper to his already fragile nerves. He tried to hold back every cruel comment and outraged outburst. He tried to push it all down, to keep the facade, he had to keep the facade _he had to keep the facade **he had to keep the facade-**_

It was only when he was sure he was alone, when he was sure that no one would see, that he finally let it bubble out. His heart would shatter from everything they had said, every comment, every tiny joke that affected him far more than it should have. He let the tears streak his face and the salt stain his glasses and wiped his nose on his sleeves until they were damp with tears and snot and he had to change.

There was a problem with feeling so hard, and it was in the way that he fell asleep on those nights, waiting for the new day to come and put the feelings back in their place.

There was a problem with feeling it all, and it was in the way he let himself feel happy, too happy, not happy enough, the next morning. In the way he knew that it would all come crumbling down again at some point in the day.

There was a problem with feeling too much, but Patton didn’t know how to fix himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr at [princeyandanxiety](http://princeyandanxiety.tumblr.com)!


End file.
